Thinkingthinkingthinking...

It's not about scaling down your dreams. It's about researching and realizing/recognizing what you can handle. Here's what I know...

1. I don't want to live too far off the beaten path. I'd like decent access to locally farmed food, but I'm no longer a small town person. We drive through small towns every time we venture north to visit the inlaws, and I'm reasonably certain that if I had to live in one of them, where it's a half-hour drive just to get to the nearest gas station, never mind Starbucks...well, as much as I dream of land like we had in Warren (CT), I know deep down that living that far out would make me batty(er). Les agrees, so I can just tell we won't be going too rural when the time comes. Besides, gas prices will help dictate that, since at least one of us will still be commuting to a regular job.
    
2. I want to start very small. I think I'd like to try my hand at chickens for eggs and meat, but I also think I'd like a processing facility nearby. Jenna's bout of campylobacter was eye-opening, and I don't want to be processing my own birds until we're absolutely certain we have all the necessary equipment and all the proper precautions are taken.
    
3. I think I'd like sheep to raise for wool, but I'd want to limit the flock to 3 to 5. And that definitely wouldn't come until I've had a season of raising the chickens first.
    
4. I want a garden. I suck royally at growing things in containers (without adequate space or conditions), and while I'm pretty sure I can blame a lot of that on the western exposure of my porch, the fact remains that you can't beat cultivating the earth. When I have more space (in our first house), I'll start container herbs and work my way up.
    
5. I'm not afraid of a fixer-upper house, but our financial sitch will certainly dictate just how much of a fixer-upper it is.
    
6. I wouldn't mind the following pets: dogs, rabbits, geese, cats.
    
7. I'm pretty sure I'm talking out of my ass, when I talk about having a milk cow.

Hearing that Soulemama and her lovely brood have the keys in hand for their not-so-little patch of land, that they're spending their days there now, making it liveable and getting excited about what it means for their family...it's stirred something inside of me. Maybe because we're coming into autumn, my favorite season of all, maybe the idea of marching toward apples and pumpkins, and cinnamon brooms and cider, and hot chocolate and soups and stews involving fresh vegetables...lord, these things speak to my soul! It's helping me see past the dream stage, into actual planning...even though it's still a couple of years away.

• First Step: Move out of Jacksonville in October 2011.
• Second Step: Establish residence for a year where my employment takes us.
• Third Step: Start search for a house and land that matches our dreams and budget.

Such a simple thing, writing it down like that. Naturally there are sub-headings on top of sub-headings to go underneath each step, as I plot and scrimp and budget our way there. But I'm a Virgo, and even for a lapsed anal retentive such as myself, dreams start with to-do lists. I'm finally hitting the point where I'm tired of talking about it and ready to do something toward it. I'm so jealous of Meara right now, because as unhappy as she is (finding friends slowly, figuring out what she wants in a job), we keep saying at least she's up there...the hardest part is done, getting the hell out of FL, and now it's that much easier to travel around and find her niche up there. It'll be the same way for us; once we've moved out of FL, we'll be able to sit back and say, OK, what's next? But as long as we're stuck down here, figuring out what's next is elusive. Traveling up there to figure it out takes time and money we don't have yet, but which I'll be saving toward for next year. In the meantime, getting lists started, getting a budget started, and trimming our frivolous spending will go a long way toward getting us there. And purging the apartment, and chucking some furniture, and...

So if you need me, I'll be writing a list.